I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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