You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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