i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
