i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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