Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
