Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
