They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
