you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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