May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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