So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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