the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
