My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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