Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
