where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
