come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
