I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
COCAINE IS GR8
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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