i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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