let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
sex in a hospital.. check
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
