How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
