and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
