The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
