Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
