D3 body, D1 cock
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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