I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
