I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
