but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
