I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
