Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
