Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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