it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
