Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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