Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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