We're like a lot better than the average bears
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
