Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
