You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
babies were throwing up all over the place
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
