Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
