eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
