She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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