I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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