I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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