I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
