I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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