I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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