just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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