Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
