I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
