Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
