Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
