Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
