Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
