So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
