May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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