Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
